Batman: Laugh It Up
by QueenCaroline
Summary: Post The Killing Joke. What exactly is going on with the Joker and who is resposible?
1. Chapter 1

Batman: Laugh It Up

DISCLAIMER: The batman, joker, commissioner gordan etc etc belong to DC Comics CRY. The only ones that belong to me are Maria Spender and other's you don't recognise from the comics or movies LAR LAR LAAAA!

Okie Dokie this is my FIRST story so if anyone seems a bit OOC I apologize, also if any descriptions seem a bit off to you its cos I have looked at the characters in the absolutely FAB Batman Begins and based my descriptions on them… Ok I am not making much sense! Anyhoo my batty fans on with the story OH AND REVIEW! BECAUSE REVIEWS ARE LIKE PIES… Mm creamy!

By the way, this story is set just after "The Killing Joke" so MAJOR SPOILERS, it's my favourite graphic novel which inspired me to write this story, enjoy.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM LOBBY---DARK EVENING

"What's wrong with him" Batman asked as he stared through the metal bars of a dingy cell in Arkham's high security facility at a shadowy figure huddled in the corner of the cell staring blankly straight ahead…

"He appears to have gone into a completely catatonic state, it is generally considered to be a symptom of an underlying mental disorder, of course…" replied Doctor Spender.

"Well we all know the lunatics insane, he…" Commisioner Gordan interrupted looking away from the cell to glare at Doctor Spender.

"Will he come out of it" Batman snapped as he watched the figure in the darkness.

ONE MONTH EARLIER

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM LOBBY---DARK EVENING

A long legged women strolled down the corridors of Arkham Asylum, this women was a truly beautiful sight to behold, in her mid twenty's, wearing a black knee-length skirt, plain white Laura Ashley blouse. Her posture was straight and she looked strong and confident.

The women's hair was dark brown, framing her face perfectly and curling under at the shoulders.

Her eyes were hidden beneath long dark lashes which were tinted subtly with a swipe of dark mascara, but it was her eyes themselves that really amazed the people that were lucky enough to meet her, they were bright green with specks of gold and glowed with youth, intelligence and a determined confidence, just looking into those eyes made people understood that she wasn't a women to be messed with.

She was an all American women with her "healthy glow" and tan, her sexy full red lips, thin figure and at 5 ft 10 inches she could have been a supermodel.

Her name was Doctor Maria Spender and she was here to see a very famous patient.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL NUMBER---NAME UNKNOWN 0801

A huge hulking guard stands outside this cell; he occasionally takes a peek through the metal bars of the window to see the horrific sight inside…

The Clown Prince of Crime, the Harlequin of Hate, The Ace of Knaves, this man has many names but none of them could describe the utter terror on people's faces when they saw him for the first time.

His appearance itself was anything but natural, standing at a height of 6 ft 5 inches and with a lanky frame, bleached ghost white skin, shocking wild wavy green hair and crimson ruby red lips pulled back into a leering scarlet grin that would scare even God himself if he ever had the displeasure of meeting this monster.

His eyes were a bright green with bright pink pupils which only highlighted his madness.

He had just been captured again by his long time nemesis, the batman, after shooting Barbara Gordan in the spine, paralysing her for life and kidnapping her father Commissioner James Gordan, imprisoning him in a run-down amusement park, stripping him naked and caging him in the park's freak show. He then chained him to one of the park's rides and cruelly forced him to view giant pictures of his wounded daughter in various states of undress.

He did all this just to prove a point that even the "average" man could be driven to insanity, only one person would go to these insane lenghths just to prove a point… He was.. The Joker!

END

Ok PLEASE REVIEW cos I don't know if to continue! Thankies


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for thee review, more always welcome! It's a pretty short chapter again but I'm getting ready for a big one with Maria/Joker conversation and Barbara Gordon in hospital and all that stuff… Anyway on with the story! Enjoy

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM HALLWAY---DARK AFTERNOON

Doctor Maria Spender continued her journey toward the Joker's cell, she was feeling extremely nervous but tried not to show it as she swiped her ID card and went through another door leading up to the maximum security wing at Arkham.

Two minutes later, Maria was staring up at an armed guard feeling very uneasy.

"Good Afternoon Ms Spender, walk this way please." The guard smiled as he looked her up and down and moved to usher her along.

"Is something the matter? I have an appointment with a patient" Maria said with as much confident as she could muster. _That's one hell of a gun_, she thought.

"Doctor Arkham would like to speak to you right away Ms Spender, he says it's urgent"

Maria exhaled silently. "Ok, lead the way"

The guard admired Maria as he led her down the bleak hallways of Arkham. He noticed that her strong green eyes were shining brightly, her cheeks had a flushed freshness and her shoulder length dark brown hair looked newly blown dry. His eyes fell the length of her slender torso – to her blouse with the bra barely visible beneath, to her knee-length skirt and finally to her legs… Maria Spender's legs…

_Hard to imagine they support a 170 IQ, _he mused to himself.

He stared at her as they walked. Finally he shook his head as they arrived at Jeremiah Arkhams Office.

INT. JEREMIAH ARKHAMS OFFICE---DARK AFTERNOON

Doctor Jeremiah Arkham was a weedy little man with large glasses and huge eyebrows. His grey eyes usually suggested a confidence and determination to help the hopeless, but today they looked wild and unsettled.

_Arkham curse finally got to him I see, god is there any sane people left, _Maria thought as she stood in front of the little man in the black suit and white overcoat.

"You wanted to see me Sir" Maria said.

"Yes take a seat Ms Spender, we have much to discuss" Arkham sighed.

_I'll say, like the fact your so called "orderlies" now walk around with semi-automatics, _Maria thought as she took a seat in front of Arkhams desk.

Jeremiah Arkham looked a wreck, more so than normal. His thinning grey hair was dishevelled, and even in the room's crisp air-conditioning, his forehead was beaded with sweat. He looked like he'd slept in his suit. He was sitting behind a modern desk and looked very distressed.

"Look Ms Spender, I know this is only your second week on the job and you were all ready to start your sessions with the Joker, but something has happened, something you may not have read about yet" he said.

_That Doctor Arkhams completely lost the plot_, Maria thought with a grin.

"What's happened Sir" she said wearily.

"It's the Joker, he escaped again a week ago and we never even knew that bastard was gone for A WHOLE WEEK and we had no clue! What message is this giving out to the public who are supposed to trust us to keep him locked away" he almost growled.

_Escaped again, doesn't Arkham even shut its doors and how did they not know, _Maria thought as she ran a hand through her hair.

"If I may be so blunt Sir, how can you not know when a maximum security _patient_ escapes, surely the fact the cell is empty is a clear indication…" she said laughing but then she stopped when she saw the serious look on Arkhams face.

"Do you think we're completely stupid _Maria_, no the little shit bribed one of our orderlies into "pretending" to be him while he waltzed out of here, we had no clue, he dressed the guy up good, looked exactly like the Joker, it was only when Batman came in and pulled the green wig off and wiped the make up off that we realised what had happened" Arkham interrupted.

_Well the guy has got an IQ of 160, never underestimate him_, thought Maria

"Sir, the Joker is obviously back at Arkham now so what exactly did you want to discuss with me? Surely now is as good a time as any for me to start my sessions with him so why have you called me here" she said.

"Well Ms Spender I don't think its wise you are his new psychiatrist, in his last escape he shot Barbara Gordon, the commissioners daughter in the spine, paralysing her for life and kidnapped Commissioner James Gordon and tortured him to almost insanity. The mayor and Gothum PD have been onto us to improve security and to sort this shit hole of an asylum out" he replied shakily. Clearly the man was stressed out beyond belief.

_That explains the guns, interesting security measures he's got in place_, thought Maria as she glared at Arkham.

Maria hesitated, "Is this about Quinn? She demanded as she stood up to full height, towering above the small man.

"Ms Spender this has nothing to do with Doctor Harleen Quinzell" he replied with irritation.

Maria knew Jeremiah Arkham had always had a soft spot for Quinn, rumour was she used him to get her licence as a psychiatrist, which, thank god had since been revoked. It was also rumoured that they had an affair, he fell in love with her and even lied to the police the first time she broke the Joker out of Arkham, he wouldn't admit to himself that she had in fact used him all along and was never in love with him.

_Nope she's just a psycho like the rest of them; at least she's locked up now, eurgh Arkham and Quinn… Disgusting, _thought Maria as she contemplated Arkhams words

"Look _Doctor_ I am not _Harley Quinn_ and I do not plan on falling for the resident psychopath anytime soon" Maria fired back.

"Harleen was not well before she started her sessions with The Joker, he merely sent her over the edge and she has been falling ever since. I believe though that you have not been at Arkham long enough to understand the Joker, we put you in there with him and I fear he may very well use you for his own advantage, I am merely looking out for you Maria" he said in a smug voice.

_Sure you are Jeremiah, sure you are, sexist pig, who is he kidding, he thinks I can't do the job properly just because I'm a women…PFFT, _thought Maria.

"I have worked with some of the scariest men and women you can imagine Doctor Arkham, I may not have worked in Arkham long but I have studied the Joker since I first saw his picture in the _Gothum Times_, I've seen how he used Harley and I know that you've lost your best doctors to the madman but I believe I can help him, it won't be easy and it won't be quick and I may not even succeed but one thing I can say with conviction is that I will not be taken in by him like Harleen Quinzel, just give me a chance" Maria said as she stood over the tiny old man.

"Okay Maria, I'll give you a month with him, just do one thing for me" Arkham sighed in defeat.

_Women... I'll give her a week; let her have her fun,_ thought Jeremiah.

"What's that Sir?" she said as a smile started forming on her beautiful face.

"Go home, get some rest and start early tomorrow morning, he's laughing like a hyena at the moment anyway, although you should get used to that, come early tomorrow morning and we'll have him ready, you'll need a good nights sleep Maria" he replied.

"Yeah well Sir, looks like you need a good nights sleep yourself, you look beat" she said as she fought off a grin.

_Best play nice with crazy Arkham while he's not in his padded cell;_ she thought and suddenly started grinning.

"Yes Maria, what with the Joker escaping, Gothum PD breathing down our backs and trying to sort security out I haven't had much time for sleep" Arkham shrugged.

Maria nodded.

"Well I'll get off, don't work too hard" she beamed.

He smiled tiredly "Good luck Ms Spender, you'll need it"

That's it for now, chapter 3 coming soon, don't worry they'll be Maria/Joker soon! Be Patient dudes.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it!

**Crying Clown – Glad your enjoying it, I'll try and update quicker.**

**Goblin Hunter – Thankies xxx**

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL NUMBER---NAME UNKNOWN 0801

An eerie chuckle is heard flying through the corridors of Arkham Asylum as…

Renowned mass murderer and certified madman "The Joker" lays restrained on his bed staring into space thinking of all the lovely dirty pretty things he could do to the spider in the far corner of the room and waiting for his latest victim to arrive, the beautiful Doctor Maria Spender.

He had seen the good doctor walking past his cell yesterday evening when he was busy trying to strangle himself with his straightjacket in hopes the guard outside would call for the doctor and he would be able to perform his Houdini act again and escape this wretched place.

Oh how he hated this place, sure it did provide him some light entertainment once in a while, watching the doctors recoil at the very sight of his 'being' entering their offices but he _had_ to get out this place again soon or he would go mad.

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA go mad, that's a cracker! _He thought with a slight grin.

Yes the lovely Doctor Spender, she was going to be his new psychiatrist as his last one had a nasty accident with a ballpoint pen.

_Mm the look on his face when I dug his pen into his skinny little wrist, it was delicious and a true work of art_ thought the Joker as he visualised pulling the spiders legs off.

_Well he deserved it, he was so annoying with his bloody ink blots, I was doing society a favour, I should get an award… From batsy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!_, thought Joker as he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

EXT. ARKHAM ASYLUM GATES AND DRIVEWAY---DARK MORNING

Rain was pouring down heavily as a red mini pulled up to a large set of gates.

As Maria stepped gracefully out of the car she tingled with anticipation at the thought of finally getting an hour with the man she had studied for years, oh sure she was absolutely terrified of the prospect of sitting opposite the clown price of crime and discussing why he murders and rapes innocents but she couldn't help but feel a very small amount of excitement at the thought of facing a 'true' madman, oh yeah she'd faced crazies before, rapists, paedophiles and the such but never someone of his magnitude, someone who murdered for a joke, who took pure pleasure and probably got off on watching someone slowly bleed to death or laugh until they could laugh no more.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM---MORNING

Monitors flickered next to the red headed women lying peacefully on the hospital bed, some cards and a vase of flowers are on the table next to her bed and the only sound heard is the steady breathing of the fragile figure.

Sitting next to her bed with his head in his hands is playboy Bruce Wayne looking absolutely worn out.

He is holding a clipboard with the doctor's notes on and staring at the words that have been scribbled down.

_Bullet through the spine…State of undress… Never walk again…_

_Oh god, he raped her…_Bruce thought as his eyes widened.

_She doesn't deserve this, she never harmed anyone, this is all my fault…_

Bruce was guilt ridden and tears were forming in his eyes as he stared at the sleeping ex-batgirl.

_Batgirl…_

Bruce slides his hand into Barbara's gently as tears began to fall freely from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he cried as he gripped her hand tightly.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM LOBBY---DARK MORNING

The receptionist looked up from her desk as Maria entered through the double doors.

"Oh, good morning doctor" she smiled sweetly but it looked slightly forced.

"Morning Sandra, no breakouts last night then?" Maria joked as she strode up to the desk.

"Don't let Jeremiah hear ya say that" she grinned.

_Nope I don't wanna be seeing him again any time soon, _she thought.

"So…How can I help you this morning Miss Spender?" Sandra asked.

"I need the folder for patient number 0801 please Sandra" she said as her lips curved into a small smile at the look on the clumsy receptionists face as she mentioned the dreaded 'patient 0801'.

_He really does put the fear of God in people… Well maybe God isn't the right word…_Maria thought as she shuddered involuntary.

"The Joker… Uh, are you sure Maria?" Sandra asked, confused.

"Of course I'm sure _Sandra" _Maria replied angrily and rolled her eyes.

_Stupid bint_, Maria thought. She really didn't like Sandra but attempted to remain civil to her.

"Sorry Doctor Spender, it's just, I didn't know _he _was getting another psychiatrist so soon after… Well ya know…Anyway…Okie dokie, give me two secs, it's around here somewhere" she said as she moved to rummage through the piles of folders stacked up on her desk.

_God this place needs sorting out, no wonder they keep losing patient details, confidentiality policy my arse! Anyone could come in here and take all those folders,_ Maria thought as Sandra found the folder she was looking for.

"Here ya go Miss Spender, have a nice day" she said as she gave a quiet smile and went back to attempting to sort out the piles of patient folders.

Maria stared at the sign on Sandra's desk as she walked away to one of the consultation rooms.

"**You don't have to be crazy to work here---but it helps"**

_It sure does_…

I know it's a short chapter again but I've been very busy, yes you WILL get to see Joker/Maria convo, probs in the next chapter, I'm trying to make it as good as possible sooo yeah its takin a while, well hoped you like this little bit and please review :)


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, new update YAY – Please review, I know I keep yammering on but I would like to know what you guys think.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM MAXIMUM SECURITY CONSULTATION ROOM ---DARK MORNING

Arkham's consultation rooms were a disgrace, they were perhaps worse then the inmates cells.

The room Doctor Spender was sat in was stark white, possibly whiter then the Joker himself and contained one chair on either side of a small table, it stank of sweat and Maria could see what looked like rat droppings in the far corner of the room, it was a mess and she was pissed off, she had only worked here for two weeks but already she hated it.

_Not a great surprise this place has rats,_ Maria thought.

Maria knew Arkham was going further down hill and that even these new 'security measures' couldn't help it, Jeremiah was just putting them in place to get Gothum PD off his back, he was secretly just as crazy as the inmates he pretended to help.

_All I wanna do is help people…_

The room was quite small and there was a huge window on one side of the wall, behind it Maria could clearly see the guards and almost hear their hushed conversation. There was no doubt in her mind that they were talking about her and the new man in her life --- The Joker.

A security camera was watching her as she shifted in her chair, she flashed it an innocent smile, imagining one of the perverted security guards eating a grubby pot noodle while he red the new issue of "playboy" and drooled over women he could never have.

Everyone knew Arkham staff were shit but no one ever really did anything about it, after all, good staff needed to be paid more and…No one really cared about what happened to the inmates of Arkham…Except possibly the most insane of them all…The bat-man.

Maria didn't know what to think of the bat, she hadn't lived in Gothum very long but ever since she had moved here, all anyone talked about was the batman…Personally, Maria thought perhaps he was a total nut-job…The bat did show obsessive behaviour towards the Joker.

_How does batman help anyway, he just shoves them in this hell hole and they escape again, they never get any help._

Most of the time the patients were sedated and just lay restrained in their stinking cells, the doctors never really tried to help them, they just drugged them up and locked them in their rooms till they thought up new ways to escape and terrorise Gothum again.

Maria was different though, she truly wanted to help these people and she would die before she let anything or anyone stop her.

_A man flying around in a bat costume capturing maniacs…Weird!_

She slowly started flipping through the Joker's folder as she waited for her new _patient _to arrive, to say she was feeling a bit on edge was a lie, she was absolutely terrified, intrigued, but terrified.

It wasn't just the fact that she was about to talk to the most famous madman alive, oh no, it was the fact that there were already two armed guards standing in the room with her and that there were four more stood behind the glass.

Maria hated guns. She remembered looking down the barrel of one many years before as a young teenager and feeling unexplainable terror.

She understood the need for security; I mean how many times had the Joker escaped now? But were guns really the answer, I mean these people were criminally ill, was it really right to just shoot them down like animals.

_Pfft, Jeremiah doesn't care about his so called 'patients', he just loves the power of been in charge of an insane asylum that houses some of the worlds most famous psychos _Maria thought as she sighed and stole a glance at the stoniac expressions on the guards faces.

_Guards or orderlies, not a clue… They all look and act the same anyway_.

A noise from outside the room startled Maria out of her thoughts as the door was swung open and a chalk white 6'5 figure was shoved into the white room by two burly looking guards, his face twisted into a grin as he saw Maria's shocked expression, he was luckily restrained in a straightjacket.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA well hello there lil lady, and what's your name?" he said as he got a good look at her and went into a fit of giggles.

Maria stared at the figure before her, she shot a glance towards the guards as the clown prince of crime was pushed non too gently down into the seat in front of the table, he was truly an extraordinary sight to behold…He amazed and scared her at the same time.

_Scientists would love to get their hands on him_, she thought as she stared deeply into the Joker's insane eyes.

_Look into the abyss…_

_A mind totally destroyed by insanity…_

_Nothing matters except the joke…_

_But what IS the joke…Only he knows…_

She spoke calmly. "Hello. My names Doctor Maria Spender and I'll be your new psychiatrist"

He stared at her with a serious expression as he leaned across the table; it was a strange thing to see on the clowns face.

"Why do I need a psychiatrist, I'm perfectly sane Miss, I swear!" he screamed as a chuckle started to rise up from his throat and he attempted to free his arms from the confines of the straightjacket.

_Perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect skin…_thought the Joker as he looked into Maria's green eyes and raised his eyebrows.

She sighed. "You need help, you know that already, now lets…" Maria exclaimed as she looked away from the Joker and started scribbling notes down.

_Get a hold of yourself Maria, he's just trying to get at you_, she thought as she pulled out a particularly interesting piece of information from the Joker's folder.

Suddenly the Joker squealed and started whimpering like a little child. It was the single strangest thing Maria had ever seen.

He struggled in his straightjacket and giggled softly.

"I'm not talking to you! Where's Danny boy?" He screamed loudly and wiggled around. Then the laughter returned.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….."

Something in Maria snapped.

Her face contorted with anger. "You know what happened to Doctor Sanchez; you murdered him in cold blood" she replied and tried to regain her composure.

_Calm down Maria, you're the sane one remember?_

"Cold blood? Bloods warm, you should know that, been a doctor and all!" he sniggered.

_I need a new henchwomen, Harley's not as young as she used to… _Thought the insane clown as the laughter continued.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…"

"HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA…"

Maria struggled to remain calm, the laughter continued for five more minutes until she decided it was time to intervene.

"Calm down Joker" she demanded, getting her confidence back.

The laughter ceased and the Joker looked at her again with that strange serious expression, if anything, it was worse then the laughter.

He spoke calmly, trying to imitate Maria's voice. "I am calm, now what is it you wanted to talk to me about sweetie pie?" he winked seductively at her.

It made Maria sick to her stomach.

"What I would like to talk about is your latest crime; you shot and paralysed Miss Barbara Gordon" Maria said as she glared at him when his eyes started scanning her slender form.

"Ah yes beautiful red head, no?" he replied as he pursed his lips.

_Ah Barbara Gordon, she's my best work of art to date, shame she didn't get the joke, _Joker thought as he remembered the crimson liquid flowing out of the red headed commissioner's daughter.

_Batsy did though, oh I would LOVE to have seen his face when he got the news precious little Barbara Gordon would never walk again…Mmm I gotta see him again soon… I do miss him so!_

"Heeheeeheee" he giggled some more, everything was so funny.

"Why did you do it Joker?" she demanded.

_Bastard…_

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"was the only reply she received. Her first session with the Joker was definitely not going as planned, she had wanted to discuss the rather interesting news she had received from one of the nurses last night.

"You wanna know why pumpkin?" he sneered as he lowered his voice to just above a whisper and stopped the insane laughter.

She exhaled slightly. "Yes"

"Because it was funny, so incredibly funny" he said as he broke into more laughter.

Maria paled at what he had just said and avoided eye contact for a few seconds.

_I'm gonna need more then a month to sort this one out_ Maria thought as she nodded to the guards.

"How would you feel if it was done to you?" she asked quietly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…"

"Your funny!" he replied snidely.

"Answer the question Joker!" she demanded as she looked towards the clock on the wall ticking away slowly.

He then started convulsing in fits of laughter as the guards came forward and started to drag him out of the room.

Maria signalled for them to stop as she looked the Joker in the eyes.

_Windows to the soul…I wonder if he actually has one…Get a hold of yourself Maria, everyone has a soul…Right?_

"Times up for today I'm afraid patient number 0801 but don't worry, we'll talk some more soon" she said as her lips curved upwards into a smile and she showed her beautiful straight white teeth.

"Oh by the way, who's Jeannie?" she shouted after him as he was been taken away.

She didn't have the chance to see the look of confusion and perhaps recognition on the Joker's face as he was dragged back to his cell.

More soon – I'm gonna try and add batman as he's only appeared as Brucie so far – Batman, James Gordon and Babs will be appearing in this story, I know I've concentrated on Maria a lot, I'll be giving her more of a back story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews, much appreciated. Well I know it's been a while but here's the next chapter.**

INT. MARIA SPENDERS HOUSE ---LATE NIGHT

_It's been one hell of a day, _thought Maria as she fiddled with the TV remote and sat down for a night of X-Files re-runs and pizza.

_Mulder and Scully should take my mind off things for a bit…They make such a cute couple, _Maria thought and smiled to herself. She yawned a little and contemplated the utter crappyness of her day. After her so called _failure _this morning with the Joker she was sent home to write up a report on his _mood_ by Arkham.

_His mood was insane, same as usual, what do they expect, me to cure him in one session?_

She got out her favourite lighter, lay back, almost drowning in the softness of the sofa and lit a cigarette.

A sudden movement behind her caught her attention and she sat up quickly.

"Those things will kill you Miss Spender, you should know that, been a doctor" a voice said, it sounded like it was coming from behind her.

Yet when she looked around, no one was there.

"_Been a doctor and all", similar words the Joker used_, Maria thought as she slowly lifted herself out of the sofa and stood looking around the room for the source of the voice.

"Wha…What are you doing in my house, who are you? WHERE ARE YOU?" Maria demanded as her eyes darted around the room frantically trying to locate the figures precise location, it was useless, she couldn't see a thing.

Maria Spender didn't scare easily, which was a good thing considering her profession, yet she felt momentally frightened and very pissed that someone had entered _her _house without _her_ permission.

Inhaling slightly, she plucked up the courage and…

"Get out, get out now!" she yelled and then quietly cursed her ignorance.

_This could be anyone Maria, get a grip! He could be armed ya fool!_

The figure moved into the light and Maria exhaled slightly, thanking God under her breath and then staring at the figure curiously, as only a psychologist would.

It was Batman.

Her mouth formed a little "O" as words struggled to come out.

"I didn't mean to startle you Miss Spender, I just wanted to see the face behind the name" Batman said in a quite creepy deep monotone voice.

_Didn't mean to startle me, PFFT!_

"Face behind the name, what are you going on about?" she exclaimed and tried to make herself as tall as physically possible in front of the hulking figure.

_What's this guy on…?_

"You're all over tomorrows paper Miss Spender" he replied darkly and stared at her, it creeped her out.

"WHAT? What are you talking about, why would I be in the paper? She demanded, frustrated.

"You're the Jokers new psychiatrist, well done, you're famous" he replied in a that same deep monotone voice, Maria could recognise a hint of bitterness in his voice even though he was trying to conceal it.

Silence

"You shouldn't have asked for the job Spender"

More Silence

"Wha…" She almost whispered, stunned.

_Me? In the paper, why…_She rubbed her hand over her face, confused.

Maria almost fell down on the sofa, exhausted from work, exhausted from trying to figure out what was going on, exhausted full stop! This batman is one insane bastard.

She glanced down at her feet and took a deep breath, then, with the plan to give this freak a piece of her mind stood up and…

"You have no right to…" she started. She looked around the room, confused.

The Batman had vanished.

_Great_, she thought as she flopped back down on the sofa.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL NUMBER---NAME UNKNOWN 0801---LATE NIGHT

The Joker lay restrained on his bed, staring into space and thinking over what Doctor Spender had said.

_Hrmmm Jeannie, name sounds familiar, maybe someone I killed, I wonder how I killed her, maybe pretty little Maria knows_, the Joker thought as a figure in the far corner of the room started talking in a fairly high pitched voice.

"You know who she is" the figure said, the mysterious figure stood in the darkest corner of the cell, bathed in darkness, Joker couldn't see it's face but could tell from the voice this person was male.

"Oh go away you, you're not welcome here, now shoo!" he replied as he started to giggle…

"You can't ignore me forever, you know what you must do" the figure started.

"LALALALALALALALALALA I'm not listening!" The Joker frowned, then…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA…"

The figure stood in the same place…

The only thing that the Joker could see was a pair of green eyes.

It stared…

Right into the Joker's madness.

"Hrmm I wonder who that fine fellow was, he seems to like me, he keeps visiting me, well, at least I've made a new friend! Good job Joker old pal!" The Joker exclaimed as he looked into the darkness, the figure had gone.

"Maybe he's Batman's cousin…How exciting!"

The Joker continues to just stare almost wide-eyed at the spot where the figure was until he gets over it and…"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…"

The sound of a door been unlocked stops the Joker's laughter as he stares at the cell door intentally.

Two orderlies enter the room with a young brown haired doctor. The doctor stares at the Joker with disgust as the orderlies make sure the he is still properly restrained.

."Ah come to drug me up again, eh doc?" The Joker bursts into a fit of giggles as the doctor moves towards him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…"

EXT. ARKHAM ASYLUM GATES AND DRIVEWAY---LATE NIGHT

It is raining heavily in Gothum. Water pools on the ground as a lone figure stands staring at the asylum.

He pulls out a cell phone from his pocket and dials a number.

"It's all going as planned" the man says into the phone.

**I bet ur confused AYEEEEE, more coming soon**


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it!

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM SECURITY ROOM---EARLY MORNING

"He's having WHAT?" Maria demanded to the man next to her. She was pissed, again, ever since she had joined the staff at Arkham she had been pissed, and after last night, well, she wasn't in the best of moods. She had been awake most of last night wondering what the heck Batman was on about, why would he _brake_ into _her_ house to tell her she was going to be in the Gotham News and tell her she had more or less chosen the wrong job, he was so rude! Maria had always thought Batman was a freak but he was "grade A" weird last night, a kind of opposite to the Joker, she often wondered what would happen if either of them died and their war was forced to end…

_Without Joker, Batman would probs be in Arkham himself_, Maria thought as she stared at surveillance of the Joker's cell last night and sighed.

"He's having hallucinations" replied a young man with deep chocolate brown hair. He was Doctor Daniel Tanner.

Daniel Tanner was a bit of a shit, he wasn't a particularly nice man but he was a great psychiatrist and was apparently coming a long way with Harleen Quinzel, aka Harley Quinn. He was a ruggedly handsome man in his early 30's who dressed in a black suit and black tie, he looked a bit more like a CIA agent then a psychiatrist but Harley Quinn had apparently taken to him.

Maria didn't really like Daniel, Danny to his friends or Danny Spanner to his enemies. She knew first hand what a complete utter bastard he could be, Maria did training with him before she came to Arkham, he would always put her down and be a sexist pig, she had also seen him ordering the orderlies to beat on patients and even heard once he almost drowned Edward Nygma, aka, The Riddler in a toilet one time just because he called Danny a "spanner". Maria found it especially funny that rivals and people who shared Maria's view on Danny had taken to calling their enemy "Danny Spanner" whenever they could, people didn't mind Eddie, he wasn't a homicidal maniac, he was just a confused soul and the staff at Arkham truly believed he could be helped with the right therapy so when the rumour went round what Spanner had done to him, the staff thought it right to name Danny after what the Riddler had labelled him. The bastard could flip his lid at any given moment and Maria felt a small amount of pity for any patient that got stuck with him. Unfortunately for the Arkham staff, Jeremiah thought of Danny as like a son to him so he wasn't going to be fired anytime soon.

Maria had been called in early to look at what the security cameras had picked up last night in the Joker's cell, the cameras had picked up the Joker talking to himself…Well at first they thought he was talking to himself but apparently he thought he was talking to a person in his cell. The Joker had mild hallucinations occasionally, hell, he had everything occasionally that's why psychiatrists had never been able to say what was actually _wrong_ with him, he was always just labelled insane and left to rot in the Arkham hellhole. Last night had been different, the Joker was actually talking to someone, he was staring straight into the corner of his cell and _looking_ at someone…At least that's what he believed. Maria was looking at the Joker, laying restrained in his bed, talking to the corner of a cell, nothing was there…It seemed the Joker was getting worse.

"Did he say _who_ he was talking to?" Maria asked and ran a hand through her slightly frizzy hair.

"No, the fucker had no clue _who_ he was talking to, couldn't see his face even though he was just standing a few feet away" Danny scoffs.

Maria frowned.

"Look Maria, I dunno why you took Joker as your patient but you should drop him now…If the bastard's having strong hallucinations after just one session! Bloody hell women, what did you do to him?" Danny laughed.

_God, I hate him_, Maria thought as she glared at him.

"I don't expect you to understand my reasons _Daniel_ but I expect you to _at least_ respect my decision. Now, the Joker may not have been able to see who was in the corner, its very dark in the patients cells on a night, there's only the light from the hallway outside, maybe Batman was…" she replied.

"Batman? Ha…You think Batman was in Joker's cell last night?" Danny interrupts.

He rolls his eyes, "I don't know if you're trying to protect yourself or what…"

_The little rat_, Maria thought.

"Protect myself? I haven't done anything wrong Tanner, the Joker is so unpredictable, he has symptoms for a range of different mental disorders! We've had psychiatrists from around the world look at him, he's had brain scans, we have no clue! Your insinuating that it's my fault he _may_ have had a very vivid hallucination last night and that now I'm trying to defend myself? I don't need to defend myself, I've done nothing wrong!" Maria exclaimed, extremely angry.

"Look…" he starts.

"No, you look, I don't actually give a fuck what you think about me, put your chauvinistic ways aside for a minute and let me explain what I was trying to explain before, Ok?" she finished.

He stares at her, his eyes give away what he feels. Surprised, uncertain and most of all, angry. He quickly puts on a smile and looks straight at her with those beady little eyes.

"Go ahead Doctor" he grins.

"Maybe Batman visited the Joker last night and the security camera's didn't pick it up, I mean, from what I've heard Batman visits Joker quite a lot and Arkham don't even know, no one knows how he gets in, he's not always picked up on cameras, the bats like Houdini for gods sake!" Maria exclaims, slightly out of breath from her outburst earlier and very tired.

"Yeah…Maybe, how do you know so much about Batman, has he visited you yet?" he says with the same annoying grin.

_Batman's visited him too perhaps? What the heck…Maybe Batty visited us all last night…EURGH I'm so confused, best not to tell this rat anything, he'll probs tell Jeremiah and get me fired, the little prick._

"Nah, I've just been talking to a few of the staff, does Jeremiah know about this?" she replies.

"Of course he does, he wants you to go see him as soon as possible"

_This days getting worse and worse…_

INT. WAYNE MANOR ---NIGHT

Bruce Wayne lay sleeping soundly as a door slowly creeks open and in walks an elderly gentlemen carrying a tray with some toast on, a cup of coffee and a glass of fresh orange juice.

The elderly man is Alfred Pennyworth, butler, friend and confidant to billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, aka, Batman.

"Your breakfast Sir" Alfred says as he places the tray down on a bedside table next to Bruce.

Bruce stirs and looks up at his friend through tired eyes. He looks exhausted this morning and Alfred notices.

"I must say Sir, you look particularly bad this morning, long night?" he smiles.

Bruce smiles back and starts to sit up "I went to visit Joker's new psychiatrist"

"Another one Sir? If I may ask, what did you go to see him for?" Alfred replies.

He takes a sip of coffee "It's a women, I wanted to see what she was like and warn her about the publicity she's gonna get, I don't understand them Alfred, he's murdered 4 psychiatrists over the years at Arkham and would have killed more, had it not been for me, yet they keep giving him new meat" he frowns.

"Arkham is a mental hospital Sir, that's where psychiatrists work" Alfred replies in a light tone. Alfred would always try and lighten Bruce up, he was always so dark.

"I know, I don't know what I expect them to do…It just doesn't seem enough, just giving him a new psychiatrist to play with every time, he's gotta understand he can't just murder people without remorse, he's gotta understand goddammit!" he shouts and starts breathing heavily, the stress of the past week, the stress of trying to save everyone is taking its toll, Alfred can see it clearly.

A bead of sweat appears on his forehead as he angrily throws the glass of orange juice at the far wall, it smashes on impact. Alfred steps back quietly and glances down at Bruce; a sad expression on his face.

Silence…

"I'm sorry Alfred" Bruce says as he calms down. Ever since the Gordon incident he hadn't been able to think about anything else except Barbara and Jim and the fact Jim's "baby" would never be able to walk again because of him, it was all too much for Bruce and Batman, he felt so much anger for the Joker and he didn't know what to do about it. He had visited Maria Spender because he feared for the women's life; he thought that if he used "shock tactics" she would think more about being the Joker's doctor. The women was strong willed, Bruce knew that from the minute he saw her, but he also saw a vulnerability, and the Joker would know how to exploit that. Remembering Gordon curled up in a ball in total hysterics made Bruce feel sick to the stomach.

"Its okay _Bruce, _its okay" Alfred says as he places a gentle hand on Bruce's shoulder, Alfred was like a father to Bruce when he was young and still is, he leans in to the touch.

A quiet sob is heard and Bruce buries his face in the older mans shoulder. This was the second time in two days he had broken down and he felt more vulnerable lately then he had done in a long time, the last time he had felt this bad was when Jason Todd had been murdered.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM---MORNING---JAMES GORDON'S ROOM

Police Commissioner James Gordon lay staring up at the ceiling. He was still stuck in hospital after the terrible ordeal he had endured days before at the amusement park with the Joker…The Joker had tortured Gordon horribly, he had stripped him naked and put him in a cage in the parks freak show and then showed him photos of his beautiful daughter Barbara as she lay dying after the gun shot to her spine. He lay perfectly still remembering every detail of the disgusting photos and shuddered. The Joker had wanted to drive Gordon mad, he hadn't succeeded then but Gordon silently wondered what would have happened if Batman hadn't shown up when he did. Gordon told Batman to bring Joker in by the book, send him off to Arkham for the 100th time…Laying in a hospital bed waiting to be discharged and to go see his daughter who he now knew would never walk again try out her wheelchair…Gordon was regretting his decision. The time he had spent in hospital trying to recover from the various wounds the Joker and his band of freaks had inflicted upon him, he had been thinking way too much, what would he do next time he sees the Joker? How will Barbara cope? What would Sarah do? How will he cope back at work? So many questions…

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM LOBBY---DARK EVENING

Maria walked through the long hallways of Arkham as quickly as she could; she wanted to get this over with.

"Hey Maria! You're famous girl!" A young blonde women squealed as she ran towards Maria. This was Carrie, the ditzy blonde nurse from the minimum security ward. She was carrying a newspaper.

_Oh crap_, thought Maria as she greeted the young women.

"Look! Your names all over the front page" Carrie beamed as she shoved the paper in Maria's angry face.

"JOKER GIVEN NEW SHRINK, READ INSIDE!"

"You're so lucky" Carrie said as she continued to grin. This women really grated on Maria's nerves, although, everything was grating on her nerves lately.

She opened the paper and saw her picture; the _geniuses _at Gotham News had manipulated her photo so she had her arm round the Joker and a jokerized face. The caption read "JOKER LOVIN: CLOWNS AND THE GIRLS THAT LOVE THEM"

_Great…_

She frowned.

"Well I gotta go, off to see Nygma" Carrie winked. Carrie liked Edward, like everyone else in Arkham; it was refreshing to see someone who was actually trying to help themselves while they were inside, even if only a little and he was constantly trying to escape.

"Yeah…See ya Carrie"

Who wouldn't want a bit of Joker lovin? ;) Hope you liked. Lack of Joker I knowwww, he will be appearing more, he's quite hard to write, I hope I'm getting it right! I would love some more reviews to tell me how I'm doing, all WILL make sense in the end!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey, thanks for the reviews, it's nice to know people are reading and enjoying the story! I do love writing it.

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM MAXIMUM SECURITY CONSULTATION ROOM

"It DEFINITELY wasn't Batman then…?" Maria asked for what seemed like the 100th time. She needed to do this, with the Joker, you could never be sure whether he was just screwing you around, she needed to get as much information out of him as she could. It wasn't going very well.

"Are you retarded or something? NO, it wasn't Batsy, I think I would know you moronic women" the mad clown replied with an annoyed look on his face, the clown wasn't acting like his usual jolly self, it was very strange, something had really affected him.

Maria stared down at the madman as she contemplated his words. The Joker had said this was the fifth time he had seen the "mysterious figure" in his cell, it was the first time the security cameras had actually picked it up, security at Arkham was so slack.

"Well we're going to put you on some stronger medication" she replied calmly and set about scribbling something down on a clipboard.

"How exciting" he replied, his voice hollow. Something definitely wasn't right with this psycho.

"Ok…Well, I think you can go back to your cell now" Maria said as she looked towards the door where two burly orderlies stood rigid. Their rifles held at their sides. Maria shuddered.

Suddenly, Joker leaned forward across the table as much as he could with his straightjacket and various restraints on and whispered…

"You know, if I didn't know better sweetheart, I'd say you're responsible for what's going on…Heehee…"

And with that he tilted his head back and roared with laughter…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

The orderlies ran forward, guns ready and hauled him out of the chair before Maria could say a word, dragging him laughing and screaming out of the room. Maria sat still trying to calm her nerves.

_This is too much…What's going on?_

INT. ARKHAM ASYLUM CELL NUMBER---NAME UNKNOWN 0801

The Joker was dumped back in his cell after been injected with something; he had no idea what "medication" they gave him anymore.

For the first time in…Well, a while, the Joker felt quite worried, something very odd was going on, a mysterious figure kept appearing in his cell…Oh, the doctors told him he was hallucinating but he knew better, he was insane…But not THAT insane…He knew something was going on and Maria Spender had something to do with it, he wasn't going to stay around to find out what they were going to do to him, even he knew better then that!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think it's time to pay ole Jimmy Gordon a visit" The Joker laughed, and, forgetting all about the figure and Maria Spender, The Joker went about planning his escape from Arkham Asylum.

INT. JEREMIAH ARKHAMS OFFICE

"He was different, something's happening to him" Maria said coldly to the man sat at the desk in front of her.

"Hrmm, Maria, you know as well as I do he can have moments of lucidity" Jeremiah Arkham replied with a blank expression plastered on his face.

Maria raised an eyebrow.

_Funny, how he never bothered to mention that little titbit of info before…_

"Well, that may be the case but he was…I dunno…Different, it's hard to explain, go see him, you'll see" she sighed.

A slightly annoyed look crossed the little man's face.

"You're imagining problems, I have an appointment Maria, we'll discuss this later" he stared at her with those cold blank eyes and gave a slight wave of the hand, motioning for her to leave. She got the message.

_He knows something_.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM

Barbara Gordon was sat up in bed eating some rather disgusting looking hospital food, she gave a small cough and tried to reach for the glass of water on the bedside table next to her but could not…She lay back and a few tears fell from her already red bloodshot eyes, she had been crying almost non stop ever since her attack. She felt totally useless and helpless. She glanced down at her crippled body and felt more tears fall.

A moment later the door to her room opened and in walked her dad – James Gordon, she quickly wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Dad…" she croaked, finding it difficult to speak.

He had a sad expression on his face and went forward to sit next to her bedside. He stared at her and then glanced towards the glass of water on the table, his eyes widened slightly and a guilty look crossed his face. Barbara noticed how worn out he looked, his shoulders were hunched over and she could tell he also had been crying.

"Oh…Barb, I'm so sorry" he hands her the glass of water, making sure she can hold it properly, she mumbles a "thank you" and sips at the water, she licks her dry cracked lips and starts to speak, weakly.

"Hi, dad, I must look really bad huh?" she says, indicating her mop of messy red hair and tear streaked face, her eyes had bags under them and she looked exhausted.

"You look beautiful honey…You always do" he smiles and strokes her hair. He shifts in his seat and stares deep into her beautiful tired eyes.

_How can she be so brave_…_Guess she takes after her mother._

"I'm so sorry Barbara" he says softly and reaches for her hand, he takes it and gives it a delicate kiss.

She looks at him, confused…

_What's he…What's he going on about, he has nothing to be sorry for!_ She thinks and snatches her hand away angrily.

A look of pure anger crosses her face, it's been building for a while. She won't have him be like this, he didn't shoot her spine out, it's not his fault. She won't stand by and watch her father beat himself up because of that bastard clown.

She grabs his hand back and squeezes it hard; he looks at her intently, surprised by her strength.

"Dad…You have NOTHING to be sorry for…It wasn't your fault, it was him, it was the Joker, HE did this to me! Blame him dad blame him!" she shouts as loudly as she can in her weak fragile condition. She tries to hold back more tears.

He takes his hand away and stands up, angry.

"I know goddammit! But that bullet was meant for _me_! He came to _our _house to shoot _me_, it's all _my_ fault, it should be _me_ lying in that bed, you don't deserve this Barbara!" He screams, breathing heavily.

"Oh…Barb…I'm so…" he says quietly, ashamed by his outburst.

"Don't! Don't say your sorry" she whispers and motions for him to sit down again.

He strokes her face gently and she leans into his touch – a father's touch.

"Dad please, I don't blame you…The Joker's a lunatic, he doesn't care who he hurts and you can't keep blaming yourself! I need you daddy…" she says quietly and tears fall freely from her eyes again. Her voice weak and painful.

He moves forward and embraces her in a tight hug.

"I love you Barbara" he says into her ear.

She smiles as the tears fall onto his jacket and looks up at his face, her sore tear stained eyes filled with love for her father, all the pain she was feeling earlier fades away as she looks at him…Really looks at him.

"I love…"

The door bursts open and Batman storms in.

He looks at them both and suddenly feels very stupid indeed.

"Oh. I'm Sorry…I'll go" Batman says apologetically, he moves to leave.

"No! Wait, stay!" Gordon says and let's go of Barbara; he moves forward to greet Batman.

"This isn't a social visit Jim, something's happened, it's urgent" Batman motions for Jim to follow him out of the room and gives Barbara a sympathetic look.

Jim looks to Barbara, a concerned look on his face.

"Its ok dad, you go, I'm fine" she gives another smile and a small weak wave.

She stares sadly at them until the door closes and she's alone.

_They pity me…_

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR

"What is it? I really need to get back to Barbara, she's putting on a strong front but I know she's…"

Batman cuts him off.

"Jim…It's the Joker, he's escaped"

_Bullet through the spine…State of undress…Funfair…Freak show…Escaped…_

"WHAT?" he replied angrily, infuriated. His hands clench into fists as he storms out of the hospital.

INT. GORDON'S HOUSE

The Joker is stood in the middle of the Gordon's living room frowning, he holds his gun up and fires a round of bullets at the ceiling.

_BANG BANG BANG_…

"Eh?" he scans the room for signs of life, looking confused. He is still dressed in his Asylum greens and looks…More insane then usual.

"Where the heck is the old git?" he says to himself, frowning.

"Ohh… Righty ho!" Remembering what he did to Gordon a week ago…He gets a look of understanding on his otherwise comical face.

He laughs.

"Silly me! Jim Gordon here I come, its Joker time!" He skips out of the room, gun in hand.

"Bang Bang Bats Shot Me Down…Bang Bang I hit the ground" he sung in a horrible high pitched voice. As he opens the front door and walks out he sees an elderly woman walking slowly across the road, shopping bags in hand, a huge grin spreads across his ghostly face.

The Joker suddenly grins manically and aims his pistol point-blank at the women's head. His finger is on the trigger about to fire…

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screams out. The gun clatters to the floor as he holds his head in unbearable pain. The woman hears the screaming and looks over at him, when she realizes who it is she runs, dropping her bags of shopping in the process. He figures she is off to ring the police, that's what any sane person would do.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screams out louder as the pain spreads from his head throughout his whole body, his thin body trembles and he slumps down, hitting the ground hard with a thud.

"This…" he gasps, in incredible pain.

He curls into a tight ball groaning as blood pours out of his nose and ears, in so much pain he can hardly get any words out, he coughs violently.

"Isn't….Funny" he screams out as his eyes dart around frantically, seemingly looking for those responsible.

The Joker passes out on Jim Gordon's doorstop, blood leaking from his ears and nose and forming a puddle on the ground next to his wrecked damaged body.

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